Promptings

I only write most of these blog entries because this blog is my journal. For Christmas, I had my blog printed into a nice hardcover book and now the kids can read about our experiences years down the road. So I include experiences like the following in my blog so my kids will know that I try my hardest to follow the promptings that I receive.

Yesterday I planned this great vacation to Florida with the twins. We were going to rent a condo in Orlando and go to Disney for 4 days with my family. I found plane tickets (fortunately I hadn't bought them yet) and was just waiting to see if my brother could find us a timeshare. The boys were excited about their first trip to Disney. The purpose of going to Florida was really to see my brother, Charlie, who would be home from Afghanistan for a couple weeks. When I talked to my sister, Melissa, last night she said that Billy told her that I wouldn't come. Apparently I have a reputation in Florida for canceling vacations to Florida. I guess it comes from a few years ago when I said we would come to Florida for Christmas but then changed our minds. But then we ended up going anyway. I do admit, I do come up with ideas for these vacations, but they don't always work out. But I have been to Florida many times since the twins were born 7 years ago, so no one should complain.

I was sad to have to tell Billy today that he was right and I wasn't coming after all. I woke suddenly from my sleep this morning at 5:07. I was in the middle of a dream about shopping at the commissary. I woke to the words: "DON'T GO." I capitalize it because it wasn't a whisper, it was a strong impression that I got the moment I awoke. I tried to ignore it and hope it went away and that I was just dreaming or something. But the feeling didn't go away and didn't until I emailed my brother to tell him he was right, I wouldn't be coming after all.

Let me just say, I am so disappointed. I wanted to see my brother, Charlie, since I haven't see him in 2 years. I was really excited about taking my boys to Disney and spending a week with my family. But it is not to be. So I pondered on why I got this prompting. I really don't know. I hope I never know because I would hate for it to mean there is going to be a family tragedy that would have prevented me from going anyway. I have a feeling that it has to do with leaving my big kids home for a week unattended while Mario is at work. He would be home at night, but they would come home from school and be home for several hours alone and then 2 days they would be alone all day. Mario and I both like it that I am home everyday to greet the kids when they get home and to talk to them about their day.

I have only had these promptings about not to do something a few times in my life. One was a couple years ago when I was going to take Erin to NYC for a few days. That time I prayed about it to make sure it was a good vacation and I got the answer not to go. It wasn't near as strong as the prompting I got this morning. But I didn't go. Another time I got a prompting was over the summer in Illinois. I had signed Eric and Erin up for swim team. As I was driving out of the garage that first morning to take them to practice, I got a prompting that I shouldn't take them. I ignored the prompting (thinking it was just me being selfish and not wanting to commit to a summer full of swim team.) That turned out to be my worst summer...ever. Erin was exhausted from early morning practices and late night meets. We didn't get along all summer and when we took our family vacation later that summer, Erin was absolutely miserable (and so were the rest of us because of it.) She was completely exhausted.

This morning when I broke the news to Zach, he cried. He said all his friends make fun of him for not ever going to Disney. I admit, I didn't have patience for that response. That kid has been on so many vacations, not to mention he lived 18 months in Hawaii. I was not feeling sorry for him because of his friends.

Then I broke the news to Nathan who took it quite well and asked if we could go somewhere else. I told him that we would sometime but I wasn't sure how soon.

It was a good opportunity for me to sit all four kids down and talk to them about promptings from the Holy Ghost. I am excited that my twins will be given that gift in December. What a wonderful gift that Heavenly Father has given each of us.