Abuela

I got a call yesterday afternoon from Mario asking if I had spoken to his dad. I hadn't and so Mario told me that his grandma (Abuela) was in the hospital with heart failure. She just turned 94 last month and so my initial thought were that I was excited for her to have the opportunity to leave this earth and be reunited with her husband and siblings that she misses so much. Of course I was sad for Mario and his dad. She has been a mother to not only Michael but also to Mario since she and Abuelo spent many years raising him. I am most appreciative to her and her love that she has for Mario and also me and our children.

So as I waited to get word on her condition, I started to recall some memories of Abuela. I met her while Mario and I were dating. She and Abuelo lived in Little Havana (Miami) in a tiny one bedroom apartment. She spoke just a little English. Whenever we would visit, she would make Mario all his favorite Cuban food. Unfortunately I am not a very cultured person and so not a big fan of anything but American food. One of Mario's favorites is fried plantains. I hate fried plantains and so whenever I was at her house I would eat those first to "get it over with." Mario would tell his grandma that I loved them and wanted more. Of course this was all in Spanish and so I didn't understand a word of it. So she would quickly come serve me more. I think it took several visits for me to figure out this little joke Mario was playing on me. Fortunately she would always go get Mario's favorite dessert when we visited...pound cake and ice cream. So I always had dessert to look forward to.

Mario's grandfather loved going to a certain steak house (I can't remember the name) for a special treat. Once he took Mario and I out to dinner. I was so embarrassed because Abuela stuffed fruit from the salad bar into her purse to take home for later. Maybe that's where Mario gets the stuffing fruit into his big cargo pockets when we are eating breakfast at hotels.

Once some of Abuela's siblings were coming to visit Mario and I when we were living in Tampa. Abuela asked Mario if I had cleaned the house before they came to visit. I was a bit offended. I usually keep my house pretty clean. But that was just her personality. She is equivalent to a mother-in-law for me and so if that is the most offensive thing she could say, then that's not so bad.

Another favorite memory is Abuela visiting us when Eric was a toddler. Eric had a little wheelbarrow and he would have Abuela push him around in it. This poor 80+ year old lady would be all hunched over wheeling him around. I also remember making her oatmeal everyday that she visited. One day I made Eric something else for breakfast and she questioned why I wouldn't give him oatmeal everyday.

Abuela would often make me sweaters. I never was fond of the sweaters but I didn't want to offend her and ask her to stop making them. So once I saw a beautiful tablecloth that she made and I asked her if she could make me one of those. I felt so bad after asking her because I had no idea how much work was involved. Once she made it, I rarely used it in fear that I would stain it. I really need to get it out and buy a plastic tablecloth to put on top of it.

Abuela loved serving her husband. It was obvious that they loved one another so much. It was heartbreaking when he passed away almost 12 years ago. I thought for sure she would pass away shortly after he did.

Whenever we would visit she would hand Mario some cash when we left. I knew that she hardly spent a dime on herself so she could save and give it to us. We were poor college students at that time, but we had so much more than she did. I felt so bad accepting the money but she always insisted. When we moved to Guam, she started sending checks in the mail. She would reuse paper towels and then send us her extra money. I felt like we were the ones that should have been sending her money.

Mario tries to call his grandma at least once a week and usually on Sundays. I often hear Mario telling her (in Spanish) what we have had for dinner. I asked Mario a long time ago why he is always telling her what we had for dinner. He said because she is checking up to see if I am feeding him. He jokingly always tells me that he told her we had cereal again for dinner.

I often tease Mario that his grandma doesn't like me and that she wishes he would have married a Cuban girl. Of course I know that isn't true. She is so happy that Mario and I have been so happy together. I think she would have been slightly happier if we would have given some of our children Hispanic names. She isn't fond of any of the kids' names....which leads me to another memory....When I was pregnant with Eric, I wanted twins sooo bad. So I was coming up with all these twin names like Eric and Erin. When we found out it was only 1 boy, we named him Eric. But then when I had a baby girl next, Mario wanted to name her Erin still. I wanted Stephanie after my grandma. Mario won out. When his grandma complained about the name, Mario told her (in Spanish) that it was my choice to name her Erin. I think she dislikes Zachary's name the most but this time I really did name him.

Even though she doesn't like our choices in baby names, she has always loved her great-grandchildren. So at least she doesn't hold it against them that they aren't named Francisco, Pedro, Sofia, or Maria.

This morning I called Michael to get an update. She is feeling much better. She is eating well and even able to talk to Mario a couple times on the phone. The doctors are saying that she can probably go home in a few days. I really don't know why she is holding on any longer. If I were her, I would have wanted to go years ago. But for Mario's sake, I am glad she is hanging around at least a little longer. And contrary to what it may sound like from my blog, I really do love Abuela. After rereading it, I may have come off not liking her, but I really do.