Stake Relief Society Conference

Our Stake had a Relief Society Conference yesterday.  There were 9 classes to choose from and we could only pick 3 to attend.  I wish that I could have attended at least 6 of them, but the 3 I chose were Parenting Teens, The Lord Looks on the Heart, and Building Strong Boys.

I noticed a few sisters in the Parenting Teens class that don't even have teens yet.  After that class, they were probably wishing they didn't attend it.  I think the teacher and the discussions probably made them have nightmares last night.  I think back to my teen years, and I thought they were hard.  I can honestly say that I don't think what I faced then was anything compared to what these teens are facing now.  I think of myself as a very controlling person but I have come to realize that unfortunately, it is not God's plan for me to control my children.  We have each been given our free agency and we must use it.  How grateful I am to have taught my teens correct principles.  Now it is time for them to govern themselves.  Of course, Mario and I are responsible for setting up rules and guidelines, especially when it comes to things they do in our own home.  Our home is a haven, we will not allow the filth of the world to enter.  If they want to find filth, they will have to go out into the world to find it.  I'm grateful for the class on teens.  It reminded me that I think I am on the right path.  Love my children unconditionally, teach them the gospel, and pray a lot for them.

The second class I attended was taught by one of my best friends here, Lucretia Hall.  It was about not judging others.  She was the perfect person to teach this class.  She didn't tell the story in the class, but she has told me the story about how her husband's first wife and her are very good friends.  Joe, her husband, was married to a woman for a few years and they had two young boys.  The wife just left him one day with the boys.  He then married Lucretia and she has raised the boys ever since.  But Lucretia befriended Joe's first wife right away because she knew that would be best for those boys.  She has even invited her to stay at their home on Christmas Eve so she would be there for the boys on Christmas morning.  I just can't think of a more Christlike person.  She told some stories in the class that helped shape how she is today.  I have found more than once, that when I have judged someone for something, me or my family member has ended up doing the exact same thing that I once judged them for.  So I am more careful about judging others now for that very reason.  Heavenly Father has a way of humbling us.  Another thing I have noticed is that occasionally I have judged someone poorly and then ended up very good friends with them afterwards.

The third class was on Building Strong Boys.  This class was taught by a husband and a wife and was very good.  The wife said that several years ago she attended a RS parenting class and the teacher was talking about the joy of motherhood.  She was not feeling the joy and she wondered why.  Instead of trying to change her kids so she could find joy, she had to change herself.  She asked herself, what am I doing wrong that I am not feeling the joy.  She talked about how she felt her kids were sometimes interfering with her hobbies, work, etc.  She decided right then that she had to put her whole heart and soul into raising her children. It is our season to be a mother and we need to focus on being the best mom we can be.  Our time with our young children is short, take advantage and submit ourselves fully to motherhood.  She talked about how are children are a reflection of us, if we gossip, etc, don't be surprised when our children do the same.  Mario and I have noticed that we have been too critical of some of the leaders and programs, especially in Tucson.  Now we here the same criticisms coming out of Eric's mouth occasionally.  It is a humbling experience to sit down with a child and explain that what we did was wrong and we had to repent.

This class talked about the war on boys.  To often tv shows and movies portray men as weak.  Is that the message we want sent to our sons?  One person in the class thought that the church has spiritual programs in place for the Young Women, but not enough for the boys.  The teachers and I didn't agree with that statement.  I think that Scouts helps our young boys turn into men.  It makes them self-reliant, strong leaders.  I have seen the benefits of Eric doing his Eagle Project.  I feel the Lord puts in strong male leaders with strong testimonies for these young men.  They have devotionals by the campfires.  They have the Duty to God program.  How thankful I am for these leaders and these programs in raising my boys (and daughter.)

I am grateful for Relief Society leaders and for all the efforts they make to help us as sisters endure to the end.  

Treadmill

Mario bought me a treadmill just after the twins were born. So it's almost 9 years old. Over the last year, it would start shutting off in the middle of our runs. I wanted to trash it before moving this summer but Mario insisted we keep it. I finally got around to researching what I needed to do to fix it. Turns out, we were supposed to lubricate the belt every 6 months. I found nothing about this in the instruction manual. I bought some lubricant and applied it last night.

My friends all wimped out on our morning walk around the lake this morning. So I decided it was a good time to see if the lubrication would really solve my problem with the motor shutting off. I ran two miles straight. To most people, that is nothing. But I haven't run two miles straight in at least 2.5 years due to my knee and hip injuries. So I'm pretty excited to get back to running and I pretty excited that Mario didn't let me throw the treadmill away. I'm going to need it through this Nebraska winter! For $15, I think I fixed our treadmill. Hurray!


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Zachary's Breakfast in Bed

Every once in awhile, Zach will surprise be with breakfast in bed. Now that he can cook scrambled eggs on his own, it is usually eggs with toast and some fruit. He even remembers to bring me a drink. Today he let Nate help so Nate buttered the toast. Zach shows his love for me by doing service. He is not an overly affectionate child. In fact, the only time he gives hugs willingly is at bedtime. Nate is the opposite, he loves giving hugs but usually doesn't go out of his way to do extra chores for me.

After breakfast in bed, Zach joined me for my run/walk around the lake. It is just over 3 miles and with the help of more physical therapy, I've started running some of it. The most I have run so far is 1.5 miles in a row so I have a long way to go until I can run like I did before all my injuries. But I'm getting there, slowly. I enjoyed my time with Zach. He enjoyed climbing the wall that Lucretia and I enjoy climbing occasionally during our weekday morning walks around the lake.


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Gladys Knight

Our stake was fortunate enough to be invited to see Gladys Knight and her choir-Saints Unified Voices.  The concert was held at the West Omaha Stake.  It was a packed house and you had to get (free) tickets in advance if you wanted to attend.

It was an amazing concert.  I had never heard anything like it in a Mormon church before.  When I was a teenager, I attended a Pentecostal church on a weeknight with a friend once.  The music portion reminded me of that church meeting.  There was a keyboard and a bass guitar accompanying the singers.  Most of the singers were white, but if you closed your eyes, it almost sounded like an African American choir (I wasn't the only one that thought that, even her husband thinks so.)  I had never heard "I am Child of God" sang so interestingly.   I didn't know what to expect but I guess I had it in my mind that it would be Mormon Tabernacle Choir"ish".  It was nothing like the Tab.  Eric is thinking he may want to convert to Baptist or Pentecostal because he thought the music made the meeting much more entertaining.  Not really, but he does wish our ward choir sang a little more like Sister Knight's Choir.

Gladys Knight's husband shared his testimony and then she got up to share hers as well.  She spent over 30 minutes bearing her testimony of the Restored Gospel.  It was amazing!  She touched so many people.  The missionaries were handed a lot of referral cards from the investigators attending the concert.  loved it and I admire Gladys Knight for all her missionary work she is doing.

Grandma and Papa's Visit

Fortunately we live directly on the route from Utah to Florida.  So my parents were able to stop through Omaha on their way home.  It was nice to see my mom walk unassisted and eating better.  They got here last Saturday after the first session of General Conference.  We enjoyed a full weekend of General Conference, then on Monday, Mario and I took them to see the church sites in the area.  We have the Winter Quarter's Temple, the cemetery, and a visitor's center.  While looking for a place to eat lunch in Council Bluffs, we accidentally ran right into the Kanesville Tabernacle.  I hadn't really heard much about it.  But it is a meetinghouse built by 200 pioneers in 2 weeks.  It was built so they would have a place to sustain Brigham Young as the second prophet.  After touring that, we decided to go to lunch at Spaghetti Works which is at Old Market in Omaha.  My mom loved her spaghetti dish and she ate the whole thing minus a few pieces of Italian Sausage that she shared with me.

We wish they could have stayed with us longer.  But they were in a hurry to get back home to Florida.  They have been gone for 6 months and there's no place like home, especially if you are recovering from   an injury like my mom's.  I am amazed that she was able to ride all the way from Utah to Florida in the front seat of a van in just a week and she had spent a few of those days at my house.  I am sure she'll continue to amaze us with her recovery.

ATV Accident

Back in the middle of September, my parents were still on their mission but on p-day.  So they went for an ATV ride with two other couples.  My mom lost control of her ATV due to a brace and glove she had on her right hand.  She was accidentally accelerating with the hand controls.  She went off the path and down a hill until she hit a tree.  She became pinned under the ATV.  By the time my dad got back to her, others had started lifting the ATV off her.  When my dad first saw her, he wasn't sure if she was alive or not.  She was curled up on the ground, knocked unconscious for a minute I think.  They were able to pull my mom out by her shoulders and sat her up on a log.  She was able to stand also but her back was in a lot of pain.  They gave her a blessing and after the blessing, they felt that she would be ok and it would be ok to get her off the mountain.  My dad said that they were so remote, that not even a helicopter would have gotten to her.  It took a long time, but they were able to get her off the mountain and into a car.  She thought that she just needed a chiropractor to adjust her back.  But after taking x-rays, the chiropractor told her to go to the ER.  He had no idea how serious her injuries were, but he knew she had broken her back.  My dad called me after they got to the ER which was several hours after the accident happened.  My crazy mother walked into the ER on her own.  But the Dr came in with scissors and tried to cut her clothes off of her in fear that if she moved, she could be paralyzed.  Turns out, she had 3 broken vertebrae and one was broken in 3 spots.  I think the Drs were shocked that she wasn't paralyzed already because her spinal cord was not being protected and after all that she had been through that day (being dragged out from under the ATV, walking, riding an ATV off the mountain, and then riding in a car) it was a miracle she was doing as well as she was.

The drs scheduled surgery for Thursday morning.  I had some frequent flyer miles, so I flew into SLC the day of surgery.  She was in a hospital in Provo, so I rented a car and drove down.  My dad didn't really think I should come, but I felt like they could both use some support.  My dad was able to get a room really cheap across the street with two full size beds.  I had planned to stay at the hospital all night with my mom, but the hospital room really didn't have anything better than a folding chair for me to sleep on.  I felt guilty not staying at the hospital though especially when my mom slept so poorly and the nurses weren't as attentive in the evening.

My mom did amazing.  She had the surgery and within a few hours, she got her back brace and she was up walking by her bed. Each day after that, she walked more and more.  I got to stay until Sunday night, then I drove up to West Jordan to stay the night with my cousin Tim and his family since my flight out of SLC was at 7 am Monday morning.

It was tough seeing my mom have to lay in a hospital bed most of the day and have a hard time eating.  My mom is just like her mother, very active.  So I know this was a very hard time for her.  But it is good to see my dad be so loving and take care of her every need.  I don't know why this happened to her, but I do know that it was a miracle she survived.  If she hadn't hit that tree (which is bad enough) she would have hit a large log laying across the path.  She would have surely been thrown and killed if she had hit that.  So her work on this earth is obviously not done.  Heavenly Father has certainly blessed her and even though her recovery will be long, I know that she will be back to her active self as soon as possible.

My parents left their mission about a week early, but they will return next summer.  And my mom is looking forward to climbing those poles again.  She is amazing.  I'm not sure she'll be as anxious to get back on her ATV though.  They are considering selling them but they are a requirement of the mission. But I think their leaders will understand if they choose not to ride them anymore.

My 4 Steps to Raising Children

I have been struggling trying to get a grip of being a mother to teenagers.  I have to admit, I wasn't fond of my own teen years.  They were difficult years and I am glad to be past them.  I would never want to re-live those years.  But unfortunately, I feel like I am in a way, re-living them again through my own children.  One thing that I have learned through having teens, is not to sweat the small stuff.  What I mean by that, is anything my twins do at 8 IS small stuff.  I am so much more relaxed with them because I realize these things now.  My poor older kids had it tough.  I sweat about all kinds of small stuff.

As I was preparing to go to the Temple yesterday morning, I was thinking about how much I stress over the teenagers and all they go through.  I used to say that the pioneers had it so much harder than we have it now.  I have changed my mind.  These teenagers have it equally as difficult if not more difficult.  I decided to come up with some steps to parenting to help me focus and not stress so much.  Within about 5 seconds, I came up with the first 3 steps and then Mario suggested the 4th step which is completely necessary.

1.  Love your children unconditionally

2.  Teach them the gospel

3.  Fast and Pray often for them

4.  Trust in the Atonement

So now when I get stressed, I try to remember that stress is not part of my four steps.  That helps me focus my energies. I love each of my children.  They are truly a blessing to me.