Bribery

Zach handed this note to me as soon as I walked through the door last night from my date night with Mario. We thought it was funny and a smart move on her part or else she'd lose her $5 pay for babysitting.

January 30, 1994

Seventeen years ago today I met Mario at a Singles Conference in West Palm Beach. We have been planning a night out to celebrate. But then I came down with a cold and not feeling great. So we will probably go out for dinner but come straight home for ugly cake and a movie.

I can't believe that I am old enough to be married almost 17 years. But, what a wonderful 17 years it has been!

Golf N Stuff

Tucson, Arizona isn't my favorite military assignment. We find that without a beach (or grass) there's not much to do. So we resort to going to the movies too much. Saturday started out as another boring day here in the desert. We did get the house clean and then I suggested we go to Golf N Stuff. Mario had never been because we went while he was deployed. This time we got the kids armbands so they could have unlimited rides and mini-golf for 2 hours. They had a lot of fun. Nathan even played laser-tag twice which surprised me. Zach and Nathan (and a few other kids) ganged up on Eric and soaked him on the bumper boats.

Overprotective Parents

I will be the first to admit, I am an overprotective mother. I would almost call myself an overprotective mom to the extreme. But I have met some of those moms and I don't think I go quite as far as they do. Eric started wrestling this semester at his school. I can't even go watch. I am afraid that he may get hurt. Mario has seen every match so far and it stresses him out, but he still goes to support. I feel bad because I like to support my kids in their sports, but I just don't think I can handle watching wrestling. But at least I let him wrestle. Some extreme moms probably wouldn't let their kids wrestle. In fact, some may not even let their kids attend school at all, let alone participate in after-school sports.

Yesterday the kids had a half-day of school. Eric came home and asked if he could go hang out with some high school friends from church. One is 14, the other 16. My first reaction was no way did I want him hanging out with a 16 year-old that had a car. Nor did I want him going to his house when I knew that neither parent was home. I called Mario for back-up. He provided none. I guess it is my fault. I have been telling Mario lately that we need to cut the strings a little with Eric because we don't want to send him off to college/mission after being coddled all his life. I wanted to take all those talks with Mario back. I didn't want to send my little boy off with a 16 year-old. Mario is the Priest Quorum adviser so he knows Stone well. So he thought that Eric should be allowed to hang out with them. I quizzed Eric and asked what they would be doing. He said going to lunch at McDonalds, Subway, or Chinese. Well, we have all those places within a 2 mile radius of my house. So I agreed (only because Mario told me to.) I told Eric to call if they decided to do anything afterwards. I went up to take a nap and then came down and watched a movie with the kids. Eric didn't call and I was getting a little worried. How long could lunch take? He finally came home towards the end of the movie and when I questioned what took so long, he said they went all the way into town (20 minutes away) to go for Chinese at a buffet. Good thing I didn't know that before he left or I would have said no way! Eric had a great time hanging out with his friends and I guess I am glad he got to go.

I want to let go of Eric, but it is so hard. I want to bubble-wrap him. I don't think I would be as worried if it was Erin hanging out with girls. It is the boys I don't trust. I trust Eric, but not any other boy. I think back to my childhood and I thought my parents were overprotective, but in reality, they weren't. They let me and my siblings have cars and we drove all over the place. We could say we were going out jet-skiing for the day and they would say, "Have fun." I can't even imagine saying that to Eric. I would want all the details like what parents were going, was he going to wear a life jacket, what time was he returning, etc. Not to mention he better call me every half hour to check in. I do remember when I returned from hanging out with my friends, my mom would have 20 questions waiting for me. Now as a parent of a teenager, I can understand why. Mario told me yesterday on the phone, "Make sure you have a list of questions to ask when he gets home." I may outdo my mom and have 30+ questions. My kids always call me a detective. I love it.

I think that is why I am only meant to have 4 kids. I see parents with 6,8, or 10 kids. They are so relaxed. Nothing seems to stress them. I had my dentist tell me the other day that his 7 kids build forts in the desert...barefoot. He says they step on a cactus and they just pull it out. Now I do let my kids walk through the desert and play with the air-soft guns back there. So maybe I am not too bad. I do know some extreme parents that won't let their kids step foot in the desert.

I guess I need to find a balance. I am really sad that Eric is growing up. I think I need some classes to help me deal with my anxiety as I try to make it through these teenage years.

Wicked

Mario and I took Erin to see Wicked. I heard it was amazing, but it was even better than I expected.

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Promptings

I only write most of these blog entries because this blog is my journal. For Christmas, I had my blog printed into a nice hardcover book and now the kids can read about our experiences years down the road. So I include experiences like the following in my blog so my kids will know that I try my hardest to follow the promptings that I receive.

Yesterday I planned this great vacation to Florida with the twins. We were going to rent a condo in Orlando and go to Disney for 4 days with my family. I found plane tickets (fortunately I hadn't bought them yet) and was just waiting to see if my brother could find us a timeshare. The boys were excited about their first trip to Disney. The purpose of going to Florida was really to see my brother, Charlie, who would be home from Afghanistan for a couple weeks. When I talked to my sister, Melissa, last night she said that Billy told her that I wouldn't come. Apparently I have a reputation in Florida for canceling vacations to Florida. I guess it comes from a few years ago when I said we would come to Florida for Christmas but then changed our minds. But then we ended up going anyway. I do admit, I do come up with ideas for these vacations, but they don't always work out. But I have been to Florida many times since the twins were born 7 years ago, so no one should complain.

I was sad to have to tell Billy today that he was right and I wasn't coming after all. I woke suddenly from my sleep this morning at 5:07. I was in the middle of a dream about shopping at the commissary. I woke to the words: "DON'T GO." I capitalize it because it wasn't a whisper, it was a strong impression that I got the moment I awoke. I tried to ignore it and hope it went away and that I was just dreaming or something. But the feeling didn't go away and didn't until I emailed my brother to tell him he was right, I wouldn't be coming after all.

Let me just say, I am so disappointed. I wanted to see my brother, Charlie, since I haven't see him in 2 years. I was really excited about taking my boys to Disney and spending a week with my family. But it is not to be. So I pondered on why I got this prompting. I really don't know. I hope I never know because I would hate for it to mean there is going to be a family tragedy that would have prevented me from going anyway. I have a feeling that it has to do with leaving my big kids home for a week unattended while Mario is at work. He would be home at night, but they would come home from school and be home for several hours alone and then 2 days they would be alone all day. Mario and I both like it that I am home everyday to greet the kids when they get home and to talk to them about their day.

I have only had these promptings about not to do something a few times in my life. One was a couple years ago when I was going to take Erin to NYC for a few days. That time I prayed about it to make sure it was a good vacation and I got the answer not to go. It wasn't near as strong as the prompting I got this morning. But I didn't go. Another time I got a prompting was over the summer in Illinois. I had signed Eric and Erin up for swim team. As I was driving out of the garage that first morning to take them to practice, I got a prompting that I shouldn't take them. I ignored the prompting (thinking it was just me being selfish and not wanting to commit to a summer full of swim team.) That turned out to be my worst summer...ever. Erin was exhausted from early morning practices and late night meets. We didn't get along all summer and when we took our family vacation later that summer, Erin was absolutely miserable (and so were the rest of us because of it.) She was completely exhausted.

This morning when I broke the news to Zach, he cried. He said all his friends make fun of him for not ever going to Disney. I admit, I didn't have patience for that response. That kid has been on so many vacations, not to mention he lived 18 months in Hawaii. I was not feeling sorry for him because of his friends.

Then I broke the news to Nathan who took it quite well and asked if we could go somewhere else. I told him that we would sometime but I wasn't sure how soon.

It was a good opportunity for me to sit all four kids down and talk to them about promptings from the Holy Ghost. I am excited that my twins will be given that gift in December. What a wonderful gift that Heavenly Father has given each of us.

Michelle and Jack

Here's a picture of the four of us when we were in Orlando.