Update on Abuela

I got a call this morning from Michael that Abuela wasn't doing well and not expected to make it through the weekend. He had tried to contact Mario in Wyoming but only got voicemail. When I finally got a hold of Mario, he quickly started the 3-4 hour drive to Denver to get a flight out to Charlotte. So now Mario is on a race against time to get there before Abuela dies. We doesn't land in Charlotte until midnight and all the rental cars close at midnight. So he will have to get a taxi to take him to the hospital since he doesn't want his dad to leave his grandma alone. I hope he makes it in time.

Mario called me from his layover in Chicago. He usually flies American Airlines for all his work travel but he is flying United because it is on our dime and they were the cheapest. Mario was going on and on telling me how nice United was on the first flight. They didn't charge him to check bags, they offered him free food. Then on the second flight, they upgraded him to first class. He has never flown first class before and so he was so excited. I think the reason they are being so nice is because he is in uniform since he didn't have time to change from his combat training, plus he only has one pair of civilian clothes and they were dirty. I think he may want to fly in uniform from now on.

He is only staying until 1 pm tomorrow afternoon. He has to fly back to Denver to catch his military flight home. So my excitement to see him a day early was short lived. But I am glad he has the chance to see his grandma one last time. He is going to be emotionally and physically drained by time he finally gets home and to add to the worries, we still haven't heard anything about his friend Ken in Haiti.

Haiti Earthquake

Mario was watching the news when he heard the name of a friend of his from Naval Post Graduate School. Ken is one of those missing in Haiti. Mario kept in touch with Ken since graduation and often called him for advice or help. Ken had traveled to Haiti for an Air Force Assignment and checked into the hotel and emailed his wife just before the earthquake hit. His hotel was completely destroyed so Ken is believed to be trapped. The crazy thing is that Mario thought about trying to get this job in Miami, but instead went for the job in Tucson. So this could have easily been Mario in Haiti. Mario called to ask me to pray for Ken, his wife, and his small children.

On a brighter note, Mario is coming home from Wyoming one day early. He is catching a flight tomorrow night and will be home by 9 pm.

Abuela

I got a call yesterday afternoon from Mario asking if I had spoken to his dad. I hadn't and so Mario told me that his grandma (Abuela) was in the hospital with heart failure. She just turned 94 last month and so my initial thought were that I was excited for her to have the opportunity to leave this earth and be reunited with her husband and siblings that she misses so much. Of course I was sad for Mario and his dad. She has been a mother to not only Michael but also to Mario since she and Abuelo spent many years raising him. I am most appreciative to her and her love that she has for Mario and also me and our children.

So as I waited to get word on her condition, I started to recall some memories of Abuela. I met her while Mario and I were dating. She and Abuelo lived in Little Havana (Miami) in a tiny one bedroom apartment. She spoke just a little English. Whenever we would visit, she would make Mario all his favorite Cuban food. Unfortunately I am not a very cultured person and so not a big fan of anything but American food. One of Mario's favorites is fried plantains. I hate fried plantains and so whenever I was at her house I would eat those first to "get it over with." Mario would tell his grandma that I loved them and wanted more. Of course this was all in Spanish and so I didn't understand a word of it. So she would quickly come serve me more. I think it took several visits for me to figure out this little joke Mario was playing on me. Fortunately she would always go get Mario's favorite dessert when we visited...pound cake and ice cream. So I always had dessert to look forward to.

Mario's grandfather loved going to a certain steak house (I can't remember the name) for a special treat. Once he took Mario and I out to dinner. I was so embarrassed because Abuela stuffed fruit from the salad bar into her purse to take home for later. Maybe that's where Mario gets the stuffing fruit into his big cargo pockets when we are eating breakfast at hotels.

Once some of Abuela's siblings were coming to visit Mario and I when we were living in Tampa. Abuela asked Mario if I had cleaned the house before they came to visit. I was a bit offended. I usually keep my house pretty clean. But that was just her personality. She is equivalent to a mother-in-law for me and so if that is the most offensive thing she could say, then that's not so bad.

Another favorite memory is Abuela visiting us when Eric was a toddler. Eric had a little wheelbarrow and he would have Abuela push him around in it. This poor 80+ year old lady would be all hunched over wheeling him around. I also remember making her oatmeal everyday that she visited. One day I made Eric something else for breakfast and she questioned why I wouldn't give him oatmeal everyday.

Abuela would often make me sweaters. I never was fond of the sweaters but I didn't want to offend her and ask her to stop making them. So once I saw a beautiful tablecloth that she made and I asked her if she could make me one of those. I felt so bad after asking her because I had no idea how much work was involved. Once she made it, I rarely used it in fear that I would stain it. I really need to get it out and buy a plastic tablecloth to put on top of it.

Abuela loved serving her husband. It was obvious that they loved one another so much. It was heartbreaking when he passed away almost 12 years ago. I thought for sure she would pass away shortly after he did.

Whenever we would visit she would hand Mario some cash when we left. I knew that she hardly spent a dime on herself so she could save and give it to us. We were poor college students at that time, but we had so much more than she did. I felt so bad accepting the money but she always insisted. When we moved to Guam, she started sending checks in the mail. She would reuse paper towels and then send us her extra money. I felt like we were the ones that should have been sending her money.

Mario tries to call his grandma at least once a week and usually on Sundays. I often hear Mario telling her (in Spanish) what we have had for dinner. I asked Mario a long time ago why he is always telling her what we had for dinner. He said because she is checking up to see if I am feeding him. He jokingly always tells me that he told her we had cereal again for dinner.

I often tease Mario that his grandma doesn't like me and that she wishes he would have married a Cuban girl. Of course I know that isn't true. She is so happy that Mario and I have been so happy together. I think she would have been slightly happier if we would have given some of our children Hispanic names. She isn't fond of any of the kids' names....which leads me to another memory....When I was pregnant with Eric, I wanted twins sooo bad. So I was coming up with all these twin names like Eric and Erin. When we found out it was only 1 boy, we named him Eric. But then when I had a baby girl next, Mario wanted to name her Erin still. I wanted Stephanie after my grandma. Mario won out. When his grandma complained about the name, Mario told her (in Spanish) that it was my choice to name her Erin. I think she dislikes Zachary's name the most but this time I really did name him.

Even though she doesn't like our choices in baby names, she has always loved her great-grandchildren. So at least she doesn't hold it against them that they aren't named Francisco, Pedro, Sofia, or Maria.

This morning I called Michael to get an update. She is feeling much better. She is eating well and even able to talk to Mario a couple times on the phone. The doctors are saying that she can probably go home in a few days. I really don't know why she is holding on any longer. If I were her, I would have wanted to go years ago. But for Mario's sake, I am glad she is hanging around at least a little longer. And contrary to what it may sound like from my blog, I really do love Abuela. After rereading it, I may have come off not liking her, but I really do.

Going Smoothly

If life is this good while Mario is deployed, then the kids and I should survive just fine. I am so thankful that my kids are all in school (at least for 3 hours anyway). I was thinking back to when the twins were infants and we were living in Hawaii. Mario had to go back to the mainland for 5 or 6 weeks for Squadron Officer School. I don't remember that time being difficult even though I had a 6 and 4 year-old and twins under 1. It probably helped that I lived in a great neighborhood and got a lot of adult interaction during the day and how can I forget...I was living in paradise!

Anyway, I was thinking that if that 5 weeks wasn't so bad (maybe my memory is failing me) I think that 6 months will be a piece of cake since my kids are all older and a lot more self- sufficient.

Monday night we put Mario on speaker phone so he could participate in our FHE lesson. The kids insisted that he sing "Once there was a Snowman" with us plus do the actions. I am sure he really didn't do the actions although he made it sound like he was. Actually knowing Mario, maybe he did do the actions for all his roommates to enjoy.

Yesterday was the most hectic day. I wanted to visit the local LDS store because it was having a big going out of business sale. But I had to rush back to take twins to school, then go VT, get kids from school, take Erin to Activity Day girls, make dinner, rush out to take boys to basketball, rush back to take Eric to Mutual. Last night Erin and I relaxed by sitting down and watching the American Idol auditions. I feel like so much of my time and energy is sucked up by Nathan and Zachary so it is so nice when I have some one-on-one time with Eric and Erin.

This morning, Eric complained of a headache (not a migraine). He has been wanting to stay home from school for a couple days now but always decides to go. This morning was different and he decided to stay home and work on his science fair project. I didn't object even though he didn't seem too sick. He is a good student who likes school. Once in awhile you just need a down day. So I am excited to get my one-on-one time with him when the twins go to school this afternoon.

My Goal

My new goal (besides losing those few extra pounds from Christmas..thank you Erin) is to reread Overcoming Dyslexia by Dr. Sally Shaywitz. I feel so bad that I have a skill that can benefit so many adults and children and I have neglected it for the last year. I loved volunteering at the school and teaching the kids because I didn't feel a lot of pressure to know everything there is to know about dyslexia. Parents weren't hiring me, I was just volunteering my time. Regardless if I volunteer or get paid, I need to get busy reviewing things that I have since forgotten. Mario of course would like me to get paid, but I feel it is better for me to serve those kids whose parents couldn't afford help any other way. Maybe there is a good middle ground and I need to find it.

Hopefully by writing it down, I will feel motivated to start right away. Really all I need to do is remember the joy I felt when the teachers would come tell me how much their students were improving because of the tutoring.

Update on Combat Training

Mario has one more week of training and he is really enjoying it. He was telling us about one of the aspects of training where they put you and 3 other guys in a Humvee. Then they flip it and you have to get yourself out. Sounds pretty easy but Mario said that it was much harder than he ever imagined and no wonder so many people drown when there car flips into a lake. He said that he was totally disoriented and couldn't find the seatbelt latch or the door handle. Mario estimated that it took him and the other guys at least a minute or two to get out. That scared me because if it were me and the kids in the car, there's probably no way I could save them (or myself...which I probably wouldn't want to anyway if my kids all drowned. I guess I better not think about this or I will have nightmares.)

The only time Mario was really cold was on Friday when they had a full day of shooting. Today he gets to learn how to clear a room. I guess that means he goes into a building and has to shoot at targets representing the bad guys. Mario said he has a much greater appreciation for the army after this training. He knows the army has training 100 times harder.

The kids and I are fairing well, actually better than expected. I have gotten along well with all four. Zach still tests me to see if I will be consistent. But so far, so good. Nathan asked me yesterday if dad was going to church in Wyoming. I told him no, he had to work. He said that he wishes he were dad so he didn't have to go to church because as he put it "I don't like church." When I told Mario this he said maybe we need to relax a little and when he gets too restless in Sacrament meeting take him out for a walk (I think Mario wouldn't mind getting out for a walk-right to the van for a snack.) That is the opposite of what I thought. Time for him to learn to sit reverently. In fact, I sat them all down on the couch before church and laid out some new ground rules for church. They always fight on who gets to sit by me. As much as I would rather sit by the big kids (because they are quiet), I have to sit between the twins so everyone else can enjoy the meeting. The twins bring paper to draw on after the Sacrament has been administered. They like to sit on the floor and use the bench as a desk. I think they are old enough to sit correctly now...bottoms on the bench, backs against the back of the pew. Maybe this is why Nathan told me he doesn't like church.

Science Fair Projects

Can I just say I hate Science Fair Projects?! First I bought the wrong size board-I thought they only came in 1 size. Eric picked a project that is interesting-Do playing violent video games affect your heart rate? Problem is, Eric doesn't play violent video games and so he has to find 10 friends who do and test them. Fortunately his teacher said he could only use E and Teen games (no mature games). He tested Mario and I but we weren't into the games at all so our heart rates didn't increase at all. Erin picked out a really cool project but her teacher rejected the idea and told her she had to compare 3 objects. She wasn't sure what to do so she decided to just see which kind of apple turns brown (oxidation) quickest. She wanted to research oxidation but her teacher wouldn't allow that either. So she and I are stuck with a project that is really boring to her. Hopefully next time she will think about it in advance and pick something that interests her (and get it approved by her teacher).

I can't say it enough-I hate science and science fair projects! Another example of why I would never be a good homeschool mom!